


Records of the Rat

by WizardingWorld97



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Betrayal, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 10:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18119087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizardingWorld97/pseuds/WizardingWorld97
Summary: In October 1981, Peter Pettigrew makes an awful lot of poor decisions. Can he still prevent a bad end?





	Records of the Rat

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fanfic over the past 2 weeks. It was a weird idea in my head but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

“What is the matter, James? Why did he call?”

James, who had just pulled his head back out of the fireplace, stood up and faced everyone in the room. The three others, being his best friend Sirius, his good friend Peter and last but not least, his wife Lily, startled when they saw the grimace on his face.

“Why did he call?” Lily asked again.

Peter already knew. Lord Voldemort was close to finding out where the Potters were hiding. In fact, tonight he would have a meeting with the Dark Lord himself, and he would most definitely ask about the hideout of the Potter family. He could feel it on his forearm, where his mark of shame was burned in his flesh. He looked around nervously and started fidgeting a bit in his seat. Nobody seemed to notice.

James started answering Lily’s question anyway, oblivious to Peter’s mood. “According to Dumbledore, Voldemort is onto us. His sources have told him Voldemort is planning to make a move soon. He thinks we have a leak in our midst.”

This woke Peter from his thoughts. Suddenly he became ten times as nervous and he felt sweat forming on his forehead. His body became very warm and he became very aware of his hands. _Did he just say a leak? Oh Merlin, Dumbledore has figured me out._

“The advice he has given us is to cast a Fidelius charm.” James continued. “Dumbledore told us to do it as soon as possible. He offered to come here and act as Secret Keeper, but I told him we got that covered already.”

With these last few words, he looked straight at Sirius. Sensing where James was going with this, Lily had also directed her gaze towards Sirius. Sirius himself shot a grin at James. In the chair on the side, where nobody was looking, Peter released a breath he didn’t know he held. He was relieved it came to this.

_This is excellent. This way I can’t tell Voldemort where James, Lily and Harry are hiding._ Peter knew he would end up telling the Dark Lord, whether it be the easy way or the hard way. With the Fidelius in play, he couldn’t even tell it even if it could save his life. _James, Lily and Harry are finally save_.

Then Sirius decided to muck it all up.

“People would expect me to be your Secret Keeper though. Giving me that role would be too obvious. People will come after me.”

“Then what do you propose, Sirius?” asked James. “I don’t think it would be wise to make Dumbledore the Secret Keeper. While I do trust him to keep the secret, there is already an army right behind him.”

“What about Peter?”

Silence followed Sirius’s proposal. Peter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. _No, no, no! Why is this happening?_ Everyone in the room was looking at him, and it was making him feel really uneasy. _No! Don’t do this! Don’t you know I would give up the secret so fast?_

Peter decided to voice this thought. “No. That’s a bad idea. I’d give up the secret way too fast if I was captured.”

“But nobody would think of asking you. That’s the beauty of my plan! Nobody would ever suspect you’d be the Secret Keeper. Especially if we tell people that I am the Secret Keeper.”

“Exactly!” James came to Sirius’s aid. “They could only force it out of you but the Fidelius charm would prevent that.”

Ever the voice of reason, Lily objected. “Take it easy guys. Don’t force it on Peter. He can refuse if he wants too.”

Sadly, it was already too late. Peter could feel the pressure from his two friends and he knew he couldn’t back out now. _I should tell them why they can’t do it_. He opened his mouth, only to close it again in a few seconds. He repeated this process again. He gripped the mark on his left arm with his right hand, sighed, and decided not to voice his concerns after all.

“Sure, fine, I’ll be the Secret Keeper.”

* * *

As Peter walked home, he pondered the situation he was in. When going home, he decided to Apparate to the Leaky Cauldron and walk the last bit home. He needed time to think, and he knew the Dark Lord would pay him a visit as soon as he closed his door.

While he took a left turn, his mind went back to a week before, when the Dark Lord had cornered him.

* * *

_“There is no use in running!”_

_Peter ran even faster when he heard the threatening voice behind him. He was being chased by three Death Eaters, three more than he could take on._

_His mission should have been a simple one. He was supposed to be on the lookout at a warehouse where the Order suspected Death Eaters to be meeting with other parties. These other parties were unknown, and Peter was tasked to find out who those parties were. The intel had been wrong. There were only Death Eaters around, a lot of them. While trying to get out, he had been spotted, which explained why he was running around with 3 Death Eaters on his tail._

_Peter tried apparition again. Maybe now he was outside of the anti-apparition ward._

_“Bugger me, I have to run even further.” he whispered to himself._

_Did he maybe outrun the Death Eaters? He dared a glance behind him. He couldn’t see the Death Eaters behind him, but he could see one of their shadows. He decided to run even faster._

_That was his mistake. He should have looked back in front of him before quickening his pace. He tripped over something and planted his face on the cold, hard street. As he tried to stand up again, he slipped and fell to the ground once more. He balled up and awaited the green light signalling his death._

_The green light never came. Instead, he was knocked out and woke up in a chair, facing the self-proclaimed Dark Lord himself. Peter found his body wanting to recoil, but he couldn’t. He figured he was in a full body-bind._

_“Ah, you have finally woken up, Wormtail.” Voldemort started, his voice sending chills up Peter’s spine. “That is your codename, correct?” Peter didn’t respond, so Voldemort continued talking. It didn’t seem like he was expecting an answer anyway. “You’re probably wondering why you are still alive. I believe you can be of use to us.”_

_Voldemort stood up and started walking. Peter’s head was forced in any direction the Dark Lord was, just so he’d look at him at all times._

_“As I am sure you are aware, I have been looking for the Potters. I am sure you would be more than willing to share their location with me, wouldn’t you?”_

_“I-I-I-I don’t know where they are. A-and if I did, I s-surely wouldn’t t-tell you!” While saying this, Peter forced his eyes away from the intimidating man in front of him._

_Voldemort forced Peter’s eyes back on him, and looked him straight in the eyes._

_“While I doubt the second part, I believe you on your first statement. You do not know where they currently are. However, you are friends with them, are you not? Don’t bother denying it, I can see it.” he added quickly, after Peter seemed about to try it. “You will find out soon, won’t you? And you wouldn’t mind telling me then, would you?”_

_At this point Peter just wanted to agree with everything the scary man said to him, just to get out of there fast. However, he hadn’t thought of Voldemort’s proficiency with Legilimency._

_“I see how it is. Well, to make sure you will answer to me, I will give you this.”_

_With those words, Voldemort ripped Peter’s left sleeve and pressed his wand to the arm, now unprotected by clothing. A burning pain made its way through his arm and Peter couldn’t help but scream it out. Tears were brought to his eyes. The air started to smell like burnt skin. Peter thought he was about to pass out from the pain, but he didn’t, which was only because the magic kept him from fainting. When the pain finally subsided, he dared look at his arm again. On his previously pale skin, there was now a black skull with a snake. Peter tried to scream, but Voldemort silenced him with a quick wave of his hand._

_“Silence, you imbecile! Now, I have marked you as one of mine. And yes, you can run off and tell your merry group of friends and your saviour Dumbledore, but do you really think they would believe you? Do you think they won’t cast you aside?”_

_Then, Voldemort just let him go._

_On his way back to the Order, he thought about it a lot. His mind told him his friends wouldn’t treat him like that, but his anxiety ruled over all his decision-making. When he got back to the Order Headquarters, he made up a lie about being stuck and not being able to return sooner._

* * *

His memories ended when he arrived in front of his door. He opened the door, stepped inside and locked the door behind him, though he knew it would be futile. And indeed, it was only a matter of seconds before he heard a voice call out to him from the living room.

“Oh Wormtail?”

Peter sighed. He recognized the creepy voice anywhere. For the past week it had haunted him every single night. He knew that if he didn’t go into the living room, there would be hell to pay, so he made his way over there. _Is it too late to turn into a rat and run now?_ he wondered. Then he looked at his left arm, feeling the mark placed by the very same person as the one who awaited him in the room in front of him. _Yeah, like I could get far before he would catch me._

His hand rested on the doorknob for a few seconds, trying to get some more time to think. However, Voldemort seemed to have had enough of waiting. The door to the living room suddenly opened wide. Peter was suddenly glad he hadn’t held the doorknob, otherwise he’d be flung across the room by the force behind it.

“There you are. You have kept me waiting, Wormtail.” Voldemort said, sitting in the chair in the middle of the living room. His tone sounded angry, and Peter’s nickname was nearly spat out. “And I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

Peter swallowed visibly, then slowly set one foot in the room. His lack of speed only seemed to aggravate the Dark Lord more, so he picked up his pace and walked to the seating area.

“Tell me! You must have found out by now!” Voldemort ordered.

For half a second Peter thought of staying silent, but the Dark Lord’s face made him reconsider. “W-well, I was at t-their hideout t-tonight,” Peter stumbled out, “b-but I c-can’t tell you. They u-used a Fi-fi-fidelius charm.”

As soon as Peter finished his sentence, Voldemort roared and Peter felt a blast of magic through the air. He raged for multiple minutes, wrecking everything in Peter’s living room. When Peter tried to back out of the room, he was suddenly hung from his legs.

“Did you think you could just get away from me?” Peter shook his head, but the Dark Lord paid his reaction no mind. “I will get that location out of you, no matter what I have to do!”

“IT’S A FIDELIUS!” Peter screamed, just before a Crucio was shot at him. “Do I look like I care?” was the response. “CRU-.”

“WAIT! IT’S ME! I AM THE SECRET KEEPER! THEY ARE HIDING IN GODRIC’S HOLLOW!”

Later Peter would remember that Secret Keepers could not be forced to tell the secret they were keeping. He would tell himself he hadn’t known that or hadn’t thought of that in the moment, but deep down inside he knew better. He was scared of the pain and immediately told the secret, completely voluntarily.

“Why thank you, I knew you had something to tell me. Yet you did not tell me right away. That deserves some punishment. Crucio!”

As Peter writhed in pain on the floor, he thought about the poor decision he had just made.

* * *

Over the following week, Voldemort had to make a few preparations, apparently. However, Peter didn’t go to Dumbledore, James and Lily, Sirius or even any other member of the Order. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them, even though he had to warn them. They would judge him. Call him weak. They would never trust him again. Nobody would ever trust him again. Everybody would always look at him with a disgusted expression.

_I have to go into hiding. People will be mad. They will want to kill me._

Peter packed some stuff to bring with him. He couldn’t carry much, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to get far. Maybe he could go across the border. The Dark Lord didn’t seem particularly interested beyond the borders of the United Kingdom. He could be save in the mainland of Europe for at least a few years.

“Ouch!”

Suddenly, a hard pain came from the black tattoo on his left arm. Apparently, the dark mark didn’t even allow thinking of running away. _What do I do now? I will have to hide at least around the attack._ The pain lessened. Apparently just hiding from the Order was not so bad to the dark mark.

* * *

 

One week after Peter had betrayed the location of the Potters, the dark mark nearly vanished from his arm. _What happened?_ He had to find out what was going on, he had to find out what happened. It didn’t take him long to hear that the Potter residence was attacked by Voldemort, but before he could find out more, he heard an angry voice yell behind him.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, PETER!”

What was he supposed to do? Sirius was on the other side of the street, wand at the ready, with an intent to kill. His mind went at least a hundred miles per hour. Suddenly an idea sparked in his head.

“YOU BETRAYED THEM, SIRIUS!”

“W-what?” Sirius looked simply dumfounded, and all his anger left his facial expression for a minute.

“WHY DID YOU BETRAY THEM? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE?”

Before Sirius could realize what was going on, Peter pulled out his wand. He created a big explosion, cut off his finger, changed into his rat form and fled the scene. A hysterically laughing Sirius was left behind.

A few days later, Peter was taken into a magical family. He had to stay in his rat form, which he wasn’t fond of, but he figured he deserved the punishment. He had to live with his poor decisions of the past few weeks for the rest of his life now, and that wasn’t enough punishment for him already.

**Author's Note:**

> While I don't think Peter deserves redemption, he didn't have a lot of choices. I just wanted to write something from his POV.


End file.
